Saturday, November 26, 2011

:: The Cadence of a Heart ::

I hear his cry and avoid looking at the clock because I don't want to know how little sleep I'm getting tonight.  My feet hit the floor.  As I open the door to his room, the soft glow from the nightlight washes over his crib.  All I  see are two eyes puddled with tears and a hand reaching for me through the slats of his crib.  I scoop him up and he puts his hands on my chest - pushing back against me to look at my face. 

"Shh...mama's here.  I've got you Little One."

I start the dance...the dance every mama knows.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  A little turn.  Back and forth.

He inhales deeply, the shadows of his cries melting into the darkness and I feel him let go.  Every muscle relaxes.  He wiggles into position...under my head, over my heart and closes his eyes.  Listening to my soft hum of Scripture prayed over him and the cadence of my heart against his cheek.  A heartbeat he has learned to know and love from months of growing inside me.  He doesn't do this listening of the heart with anyone else and I realize that he recognizes it's drumming and it gives him peace.

And then it hits me...

Does the rhythm of my Father's heartbeat cause a wave of peace and rest to wash over me?  Do I recognize it enough to allow it to do that healing work in my life?  Is my source of comfort and refuge truly in His arms?

Oh, friends - I struggle with this...yes, I can quote the Word, I can offer up worship, but the "be still and know" part of faith does not come easily.  I hit the snooze button too often in avoidance of the light of morning and the Light of His Word.  I turn the radio up loudly in the car in an effort to drown out the small whisper of who He wants me to bless today.  I pray my thanksgiving and supplication quickly and conveinently forget the part about listening.  

But then the lack of peace screams in my soul and I know that I'm too far.  I must return to His heart.  Through His Word, through prayer, through worship - I must learn His heartbeat again.    

How do you center your soul on His heart? 

16 comments:

  1. OK, so how come I didn't know you had a new blog?? Hmmmm? I love this. And I have trouble in the being still and listening too. This time of advent, though, is peace for me. I somehow always find my way home this time of year...

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  2. Such a great writing, and so true!!

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  3. Christine, I just opened the blog on Black Friday, so you haven't missed much! And yes, I'm hoping to push aside the "crazy" of the holiday season in exchange for the quiet preparation of advent. I love what you said..."I somehow always find my way home this time of year..."

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  4. Great post! I too need to work on listening to God. I don't know why it's so hard but it's so rewarding when I do take the time to be still and know Him

    ~Stacy at http://www.findingpurposeinthepain.blogspot.com/

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  5. Wow, girl! You are awesome! I about started crying reading this post! You are so right :) <3

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  6. Oh I know that exact feeling... when they snuggle in, and just relax.
    How beautiful. My littles will be two in April... it is going too fast. :(

    And I am having the same realizations-- that I need to be still before Him, but I don't know how.
    (And I am scared.)

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  7. I think the hard part for me comes in the discipline in the stillness and the knowing that I will have to take action after that time. He never just leaves me in the quiet place - He always reveals a greater picture of who He is and as a result I am either called to share this picture or take action in another area of my life. You're completely right, though - the rewards of that time with Him are refreshment and peace.

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  8. Hey, Jacie! It's so encouraging to see some of my IRL friends here! Blessings, sweet one!

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  9. Sweet sister, I completely understand where you're coming from - that stillness is always easier said than done. It's hard to carve out the time (especially as the mama of littles) and it can be overwhelming to figure out the best way to get there. I'd love to talk with you more about this - would you mind shooting me an email - maybe we can brainstorm some ideas of how to do this and pray for each other! (allemccloskey(at)gmail(dot)com)

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  10. You put words to what my heart needs most. Rest in the arms of God. Thanks for this great post!

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  11. Wow...just found this from Brooke McGlothlin's fb page. EXACTLY what is stirring in my heart today. Thank you

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  12. Thanks, Christina..."rest in the arms of God" - beautiful words!

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  13. I keep turning this one over in light of all the projects and goals swimming around at the start of a new year...if I'm honest, I just need to keep it to this...a hard chasing after His heart. Thanks for stopping by, Jennifer!

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  14. beautiful, so glad to be reading from Brooke's FB page today...

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  15. Thanks for coming over, Tammy...she's got some great stuff over there!

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