I hear his cry and avoid looking at the clock because I don't want to know how little sleep I'm getting tonight. My feet hit the floor. As I open the door to his room, the soft glow from the nightlight washes over his crib. All I see are two eyes puddled with tears and a hand reaching for me through the slats of his crib. I scoop him up and he puts his hands on my chest - pushing back against me to look at my face.
"Shh...mama's here. I've got you Little One."
I start the dance...the dance every mama knows. Back and forth. Back and forth. A little turn. Back and forth.
He inhales deeply, the shadows of his cries melting into the darkness and I feel him let go. Every muscle relaxes. He wiggles into position...under my head, over my heart and closes his eyes. Listening to my soft hum of Scripture prayed over him and the cadence of my heart against his cheek. A heartbeat he has learned to know and love from months of growing inside me. He doesn't do this listening of the heart with anyone else and I realize that he recognizes it's drumming and it gives him peace.
And then it hits me...
Does the rhythm of my Father's heartbeat cause a wave of peace and rest to wash over me? Do I recognize it enough to allow it to do that healing work in my life? Is my source of comfort and refuge truly in His arms?
Oh, friends - I struggle with this...yes, I can quote the Word, I can offer up worship, but the "be still and know" part of faith does not come easily. I hit the snooze button too often in avoidance of the light of morning and the Light of His Word. I turn the radio up loudly in the car in an effort to drown out the small whisper of who He wants me to bless today. I pray my thanksgiving and supplication quickly and conveinently forget the part about listening.
But then the lack of peace screams in my soul and I know that I'm too far. I must return to His heart. Through His Word, through prayer, through worship - I must learn His heartbeat again.
How do you center your soul on His heart?